Citizenship Journal Number 3: True Friendship
A
lot of the discussions we have had in class have struck a chord with me.
Whether it was talking about Niccolo Machiavelli’s The Prince, Hannah Arendt’s ideals, or Chimamanda Adichie’s
thoughts on the danger of a single story, we have had many deliberations that have
hit home. However, nothing we have talked about in class has resonated with me
more than our discussion on friendship. Creating, maintaining, and developing
friendships is something I deal with on a day-to-day basis. Therefore, it is an
extraordinarily relatable topic for me. Moreover, there are many lessons to be
taken from friendship that directly relate to citizenship. As a result, my
experience with two of my best friends, Muqaddas Ibrahim and Hassam Mian, has
taught me a lot about being a good citizen.
When discussing friendship it is necessary to designate the different types of friendships that exist, that way you not friends with someone under false pretenses. In short, not all friendships are created equal. According to Francesco Alberoni there are multiple different strata of friendship including acquaintances, collective solidarity, role-related relationships, friendliness and good-feeling, and love. Most people have many different examples of the first four categories. However, love in friendships is something rare and unique. A friendship of love is difficult to have because it is a clear long-term commitment. When you have a loving friendship, you are in it for the long haul; not just when it is convenient for you. On that note, this type of friendship has to transcend distance and separation. If you are stranded from your friend, you still need to be making an effort to maintain and develop your friendship. For example, Muqaddas and I live on opposing coasts in the United States. He lives in Oregon, on the West coast, and I live in New York on the Eastern seaboard. Yet, even during the summer when we won’t be seeing each other for months, we make efforts to talk to each other or Skype a few times a week that way our relationship doesn’t wane. Also, the friendship between the three of us is reciprocal. We all liked each other from the beginning and have always acted in each other’s best interests. When Hassam goes to the grocery store, he buys the items that he knows that I need, knowing that I will pay him back immediately in full. He goes out of his way to assuage my needs and I always return the favor. Moreover, we all like each other for who we truly are. There is no need for facades. We all act like our true selves and share our honest thoughts and feelings. Most people would argue that there close friendships are friendships of love; after all, it is human nature to want and believe that you have the closest and best type of friendship. Yet for the aforementioned reasons, I know that the bond between Muqaddas, Hassam, and I is love, and that is extremely important to me.
Knowing that our friendship is love is not just important to me, the status of our bond is also important for society. In Nichomachean Ethics, Aristotle said that it “takes the character of those in the virtuous friendship for a solid community to exist.” Thus, the three of us are developing characteristics that will be necessary in our future endeavors to help our local communities. By implementing the dedication we have to our friendship to society, we can accomplish great tasks. Through the reciprocity we have developed during our time as friends, we will be more likely to help out a stranger from the goodness of our heart, because we are used to performing acts like that. Furthermore, from the practice we have in accepting people as who they are, we can set the tone for a more accepting society. Overall, the loving friendship that Muqaddas, Hassam, and I share has taught us a plethora of valuable life lessons that can help us lead by example and improve the society surrounding us.
Along that line, I have learned a lot about what makes a good citizen from my time with Muqaddas and Hassam. From my friendship I have learned how to want something for someone else as much as you would want it for yourself. When the three of us take a test, I want them to get an “A” just as bad as I want that same “A”. This is integral for citizenship because it puts everyone’s wants and needs on an equal playing field. As a result, you can have a society in which everyone is looking out for each other’s best interests and the interest of the community as a whole. Moreover, Muqaddas and Hassam have very different cultures than I do. They are both Middle Eastern, while I am American, and they have different customs than what I am used to. Due to our friendship, I have become a more open minded person; eager to broaden my horizons and learn about different people and cultures. Since I have become so close to Muqaddas and Hassam, I have developed a trigger; I can no longer stand those who are stubborn and refuse to expand their mind and consider new ways of doing things. I have realized that a huge aspect of being a good citizen is learning about different cultures and taking what you like about that culture and fusing it with you own to make your culture and community as comprehensive as possible. For example, while the three of us where in Morocco, I realized that all of the local shop owners were calling us “family” and giving us substantially lower prices than they originally asked for. Even though they had never met us before, they made us feel at home and important, which made us more likely to help out our fellow Moroccan. If more people treated everyone like family, we could have a better society. Through my friendship with two of my closest friends, I have grown as a person and as a citizen, and have gained ineffable insight into what makes a good citizen.
Overall, friendship and citizenship go hand-in-hand. There are important ideals, mindsets, and lessons that can be taken from friendship to improve your surroundings. By acting like a loving friend and a more accepting person to the strangers around you, you can help lift your community up. I am incredibly thankful for the lessons that Muqaddas and Hassam have taught me and I look forward to the ones they will teach me in the future. I only hope that they are learning as much from me as I am from them.
When discussing friendship it is necessary to designate the different types of friendships that exist, that way you not friends with someone under false pretenses. In short, not all friendships are created equal. According to Francesco Alberoni there are multiple different strata of friendship including acquaintances, collective solidarity, role-related relationships, friendliness and good-feeling, and love. Most people have many different examples of the first four categories. However, love in friendships is something rare and unique. A friendship of love is difficult to have because it is a clear long-term commitment. When you have a loving friendship, you are in it for the long haul; not just when it is convenient for you. On that note, this type of friendship has to transcend distance and separation. If you are stranded from your friend, you still need to be making an effort to maintain and develop your friendship. For example, Muqaddas and I live on opposing coasts in the United States. He lives in Oregon, on the West coast, and I live in New York on the Eastern seaboard. Yet, even during the summer when we won’t be seeing each other for months, we make efforts to talk to each other or Skype a few times a week that way our relationship doesn’t wane. Also, the friendship between the three of us is reciprocal. We all liked each other from the beginning and have always acted in each other’s best interests. When Hassam goes to the grocery store, he buys the items that he knows that I need, knowing that I will pay him back immediately in full. He goes out of his way to assuage my needs and I always return the favor. Moreover, we all like each other for who we truly are. There is no need for facades. We all act like our true selves and share our honest thoughts and feelings. Most people would argue that there close friendships are friendships of love; after all, it is human nature to want and believe that you have the closest and best type of friendship. Yet for the aforementioned reasons, I know that the bond between Muqaddas, Hassam, and I is love, and that is extremely important to me.
Knowing that our friendship is love is not just important to me, the status of our bond is also important for society. In Nichomachean Ethics, Aristotle said that it “takes the character of those in the virtuous friendship for a solid community to exist.” Thus, the three of us are developing characteristics that will be necessary in our future endeavors to help our local communities. By implementing the dedication we have to our friendship to society, we can accomplish great tasks. Through the reciprocity we have developed during our time as friends, we will be more likely to help out a stranger from the goodness of our heart, because we are used to performing acts like that. Furthermore, from the practice we have in accepting people as who they are, we can set the tone for a more accepting society. Overall, the loving friendship that Muqaddas, Hassam, and I share has taught us a plethora of valuable life lessons that can help us lead by example and improve the society surrounding us.
Along that line, I have learned a lot about what makes a good citizen from my time with Muqaddas and Hassam. From my friendship I have learned how to want something for someone else as much as you would want it for yourself. When the three of us take a test, I want them to get an “A” just as bad as I want that same “A”. This is integral for citizenship because it puts everyone’s wants and needs on an equal playing field. As a result, you can have a society in which everyone is looking out for each other’s best interests and the interest of the community as a whole. Moreover, Muqaddas and Hassam have very different cultures than I do. They are both Middle Eastern, while I am American, and they have different customs than what I am used to. Due to our friendship, I have become a more open minded person; eager to broaden my horizons and learn about different people and cultures. Since I have become so close to Muqaddas and Hassam, I have developed a trigger; I can no longer stand those who are stubborn and refuse to expand their mind and consider new ways of doing things. I have realized that a huge aspect of being a good citizen is learning about different cultures and taking what you like about that culture and fusing it with you own to make your culture and community as comprehensive as possible. For example, while the three of us where in Morocco, I realized that all of the local shop owners were calling us “family” and giving us substantially lower prices than they originally asked for. Even though they had never met us before, they made us feel at home and important, which made us more likely to help out our fellow Moroccan. If more people treated everyone like family, we could have a better society. Through my friendship with two of my closest friends, I have grown as a person and as a citizen, and have gained ineffable insight into what makes a good citizen.
Overall, friendship and citizenship go hand-in-hand. There are important ideals, mindsets, and lessons that can be taken from friendship to improve your surroundings. By acting like a loving friend and a more accepting person to the strangers around you, you can help lift your community up. I am incredibly thankful for the lessons that Muqaddas and Hassam have taught me and I look forward to the ones they will teach me in the future. I only hope that they are learning as much from me as I am from them.